My parents (individually or collectively) have never asked that question and will likely never ask that question. For most of my life, the very thought of the question would have grated on the nerves of my feminist sensibilties and my social self-consciousness. People know that, and that's why they do not ask.

Except now, I have a good answer. You have two grandchildren: April, born April 24, 2005; and Gizmo, born August 3, 2005. Who would name a child Gizmo? I guess, the same sort of person who would have two babies in four months.

This is April:

In this picture, April dons a beautiful sweater from the boutique at Petco, for which she suffers through much teasing. She does not wear it to be cute, however - she wears it because chihuahuas were not gifted with enough fur to help them through New England winters. She is normally actually quite displeased with her sweaters, but in the above picture, a treat has distracted her from her dissatisfaction. In this picture, April is showing off her full-grown, 4lb 9oz figure. When April was first brought into our household, she weighed a mere two pounds, and looked more like this:

In this picture, April spends her first night home refusing to move off a fuzzy pillow, scared of her new surroundings. She was quite the shy puppy. There was a time when she was content just sitting on your lap, or being helpd in one hand. That time is long over. April went on a few play dates with other Chihuahuas. She ran around outside for hours and hours. She came home (alone) and tried to get her stuffed puppy to play with her. He did not comply. April also discovered fine cuisine. Below, she is seen begging for a snausage - first, gracefully walking, then getting impatient and licking her lips. April can walk across the room on two feet - but only for ham. Among her other food loves are graham crackers, cheerios, and fried chicken.

Don't get me wrong, April still takes advantage of down time to rest. Her favorite resting locations include her house, any one of about seventy blankets in our house, and my computer keyboard. She seems especially partial to sleeping on the delete key. Below, April sleeps in a blanket just her size.

Given April's loneliness and our love for chihuahuas, we made an addition to the family. Gizmo has the same father as April, but a different mother. He looks just like her, but his fur is whiter and his spot is on the other side of his face. When he came home in early October, he was eight weeks old and weighed one 1lb, 5 ounces. Since then, he has grown by leaps and bounds - he is now seven months old (pretty much full grown) and weighs almost five pounds. Not quite, because five pounds would register on our scale. But almost.

Gizmo is a different little puppy than April. He's smart (he once got in the shower with me because he wanted to drink water), but he lacks common sense and coordinatiion (he often tries to jump on the couch and falls). He waited until his six month birthday to learn to bark at all, but then began to bark at random times and fail to bark when appropriate. When he was neutered, instead of sitting around for two weeks like the doctor said, he was "full Gizmo" in about five hours. Despite this bravery in the face of physical pain, Gizmo is the world's biggest wimp when it comes to emotional pain. He did not know how to bark for most of his puppy life, but he sure knew how to whine like a bat, and he did it at the slightest emotional trauma. Leave him alone on the couch, Gizmo-bat. Pet April and not Gizmo, Gizmo-bat. He is still quite needy, but has toned it down a bit. Now, he relazes some. This is Gizmo:

Above, Gizmo is begging for a tummy rub. Gizmo's great loves in life include April, tummy rubs, ham, and, yes, tortilla bread. He is known for falling asleep in awkward positions, with his legs sticking up out of some blanket or another. He also has a habit of riding on my chest while I try to drive (thankfully, I have both automatic transmission and a hands-free cellphone). The Gizmo that you see above (at six months) is a happy, well-adjusted man. He has not always been so graceful, though. This is Gizmo when he first came home:

He was very small and not yet sure what he thought of us. Below, however, is his first bonding moment.

Now, Gizmo is pretty much all grown up. He has become a model for the fashions of Petco as well. Gizmo missed summer, which April loved in order to run around outside. In the early fall, when it was still warm enough for Chihuahuas to play outside, Gizmo was too small and scared to leave my feet. When sweaters were required but there was not yet snow on the ground (April and Gizmo cannot walk on snow), Gizmo was too small for any sweater to stay on. Now that they do not do him any good at all (except a buffer for the five feet between the house and the car), Gizmo is actually a fan of being dressed.

Gizmo, in his GQ garb, smiles (or cowers) for the camera, but gets bored later in the photoshoot and would like to go to sleep. The first picture is "hi, mommy, aren't I cute?" while the second picture is "get out of my face, mommy, I'm tired". I am pretty sure that I recall some growling to go along with it. Gizmo, however, can be satisfied in many of the same ways that April can: treats make it all better.

With two puppies, we have some battles for who is the alpha male. I say "battles" only because Gizmo has not yet realized that he has lost. One day, I came home to find Gizmo the only place April couldn't get (the bed), in a pile of his own excrement, screaming, while April stood on the ground and barked at him. He did not leave my arms for two days. He seems to have conveniently forgotten that trauma, though, and continues to pretend that he could win battles. Below, Gizmo goes after April. April wins.

Gizmo goes after April again. It even looks like he might have the upper hand this time. He gets his teeth on the coveted toy. April wins.

In the end, though, all is good with Gizmo. He forgets he lost and remembers how much he loves his sister - and demonstrates it by licking her ears - and licking, and licking, and licking.

See "Adult Puppies" for more recent pics and stories ...